Don't let gadgets put lid on happiness

Our world is changing at a rapid pace. Most American children learn to use a computer at the same time that they learn to write their names on paper. Records have been replaced by compact discs, which are now being replaced by i-pods. Digital photography, computers, the Internet, email, and cell phones allow us to share information and communicate almost instantly. All of these devices were produced to improve our lives and many of them do just that. However instead of giving us more time and space, the pace of life seems to be accelerating and crowding out what matters most.

If these devices were meant to simplify our lives, you would think that we would have more time for what matters most to us. Instead, it seems that many of us feel enslaved to the very devices that are meant to serve us. Many of us feel pulled in many directions at once so that the very people and things that deserve our full attention are constantly being interrupted. Without realizing it we have come to accept frequent interruptions to the meaningful parts of our lives and the gradual squeezing out of what matters most.

Take a moment to consider if you had more room in your life. What would that mean for you? How would you like to spend your time? Who would you like to see more of? Think of the people who matter most to you: children, partner, parents, siblings, friends, relatives, neighbors or people who you have yet to meet. How might you make more room in your life for these relationships?

Marcia Marra a mother of three and resident of Ridgewood, New Jersey recognized that her family was overscheduled and exhausted from constantly running from one activity to the next. Instead of just accepting this as the norm in today’s fast-paced world, she gathered together community leaders, parents, professionals, clergy, and school representatives. The committee read and discussed national research that established the potential negative effects of over-scheduling on childhood development, family cohesion, and the health of adults.

In 2002, the entire town of Ridgewood declared a Family Night called “Ready, Set, Relax!” with no sports, no homework, no meetings, chores, or classes. Instead families enjoyed a meal together, played games or just relaxed. The idea was that having one night in which the whole town shared this experience would motivate people to find ways to slow down and reduce unnecessary pressures from families and children. This was such a positive initiative that this is now an annual event.

What is even more significant is that reports of this event spread across the country. The community effort spoke to a longing that many Americans have to foster a balance between work, school, family time, unscheduled time, and outside enrichment activities.

Truly, we are all a part of one human family. Even if you have no children or your children are grown, even if you live alone or are retired from your career, each one of us is equally susceptible to the trends of our society. We are all responsible for the health and well-being of our children just as we are all responsible for the health and well-being of our elders. We all need to reconsider our choices and lifestyles to make more room for what matters most: relationships and community. Do not be fooled into thinking that owning more gadgets will hold the answer to a more fulfilling life. Instead of lives of constant activity and accumulation, let us choose lifestyles of community and meaning.

Rev. Amy Bowden Freedman is the minister of Channing Memorial Church, Unitarian Universalist in Newport.