December Dilemma - Honoring Different Traditions

There is controversy stirring in our neighboring state of Massachusetts about whether seasonal evergreens should be called Christmas or Holiday Trees. It is reported that the debate began when a department store posted a sign reading “Fresh Cut Holiday Trees”. Some customers felt outraged as if the Christmas tradition was under attack. You may recall a similar hullabaloo last year down South when store clerks were asked to greet customers by saying “Happy Holidays!” instead of “Merry Christmas!” Some Christian pastors objected and campaigned that “Christ” be put back into “Christmas”.

Personally, I find no objection to stores trying to appeal to a wide variety of people. The reality is that we are a nation of religious pluralism. I also know of no Jew who would object to evergreens being advertised as Christmas Trees even if they themselves chose to have one in their home and call it a “Chanukah Bush”.

This debate over inclusive language and the passion expressed in defense of Christmas reveals an underlying tension in our society. Many people strongly believe that their religion is the one true path and so anything that brings their beliefs or practices into question is seen as threatening. This sort of thinking has led to violence, persecution, wars, and divisions between families and neighbors.

I was blessed with a family that readily accepted my parent’s interfaith marriage. My maternal side is Catholic. My paternal side is Jewish. My parents were married by a Unitarian minister and joined a Unitarian Universalist congregation when I was three. For me, there never was a tension between the two traditions. Growing up, I celebrated both Jewish and Christian holidays, still do. Belonging to a Unitarian Universalist congregation, enabled my family to honor their religious heritage and for all of us to explore our own beliefs, to deepen our faith, and to live our convictions.

There is a term for the blending of holidays: Chrismukkah, which is a whole lot easier to say than Christmahannukwanzika. I am not suggesting that all holidays should be blended together. Each tradition has its own distinct history, meaning, and rituals that should be honored. Interfaith families have resources and support groups for the December Dilemma, how to honor two religious traditions.

As I spoke to members of Channing Church whose families celebrate both Jewish and Christian holidays, they shared how honoring their partner’s religious tradition enriched their life, how in entering into a relationship with someone of a different faith broke through their own stereotypes and misunderstandings, and how sharing one’s own traditions also deepened their sense of connection to their own family heritage.

No matter which holidays you observe, each person has a December Dilemma. That dilemma is whether or not you choose to create a happy life. No matter what challenges you are facing, each day is an invitation to create a meaningful life. In this season, many people feel tense from conflicting obligations, holiday activities, and more chores than time to complete them. Even if your whole family celebrates the same holiday there can be competition between relatives, pressures over presents, and conflicts over family customs.

I would like to remind you to move beyond the either/or mindset. Take some time to consider what is most valuable. In what ways does the holiday connect you to that which is holy? What traditions are most important to you and why? Who needs to know that you care?

Holidays are a time set apart to recognize the sacred purpose of our lives. Truly it does not matter whether you call it a Holiday or Christmas tree, whether you celebrate Chanukah or Christmas or Solstice or a combination of all three. What matters is that we find a way to experience the holiness of life itself. Interfaith families and friendships are a sign of hope that the barriers, which can separate us, can indeed be broken down. Instead of being swept up in the mad rush of consumerism and frantic activity, let us strengthen our ties to our heritage, find room for the sacred, and enrich our bonds of love and understanding with one another.